Modern Romance

Modern Romance

Book - 2015
Average Rating:
Rate this:
Now a New York Times Bestseller. A hilarious, thoughtful, and in-depth exploration of the pleasures and perils of modern romance from one of this generation's sharpest comedic voices. At some point, every one of us embarks on a journey to find love. We meet people, date, get into and out of relationships, all with the hope of finding someone with whom we share a deep connection. This seems standard now, but it's wildly different from what people did even just decades ago. Single people today have more romantic options than at any point in human history. With technology, our abilities to connect with and sort through these options are staggering. So why are so many people frustrated? Some of our problems are unique to our time. "Why did this guy just text me an emoji of a pizza?" "Should I go out with this girl even though she listed Combos as one of her favorite snack foods? Combos?!" "My girlfriend just got a message from some dude named Nathan. Who's Nathan? Did he just send her a photo of his penis? Should I check just to be sure?" But the transformation of our romantic lives can't be explained by technology alone. In a short period of time, the whole culture of finding love has changed dramatically. A few decades ago, people would find a decent person who lived in their neighborhood. Their families would meet and, after deciding neither party seemed like a murderer, they would get married and soon have a kid, all by the time they were twenty-four. Today, people marry later than ever and spend years of their lives on a quest to find the perfect person, a soul mate. For years, Aziz Ansari has been aiming his comic insight at modern romance, but for Modern Romance, the book, he decided he needed to take things to another level. He teamed up with NYU sociologist Eric Klinenberg and designed a massive research project, including hundreds of interviews and focus groups conducted everywhere from Tokyo to Buenos Aires to Wichita. They analyzed behavioral data and surveys and created their own online research forum on Reddit, which drew thousands of messages. They enlisted the world's leading social scientists, including Andrew Cherlin, Eli Finkel, Helen Fisher, Sheena Iyengar, Barry Schwartz, Sherry Turkle, and Robb Willer. The result is unlike any social science or humor book we've seen before. In Modern Romance, Ansari combines his irreverent humor with cutting-edge social science to give us an unforgettable tour of our new romantic world.
Publisher: New York : Penguin Press, ©2015.
ISBN: 9781594206276
Characteristics: 277 pages :,illustrations (some colour) ;,25 cm
Additional Contributors: Klinenberg, Eric - Author


From the critics

Community Activity


Add a Comment
Jun 12, 2019

This was such a fun book to listen to! I finished it in just two days. I like how the authors combine scientific research with anecdotes and Aziz's own hilarious descriptions, which is a fun and engaging approach to nonfiction writing. The way relationships and dating have changed with technology and over time is fascinating. I definitely recommend it!

Jan 08, 2019

Interesting but not enough.

This book really is for people who have no idea. A lot of this content was common sense with a bunch of dumb comedic fill ins

Oct 02, 2018


This was an excellently well written and researched look into the current state of relationships and courtship in America. Aziz's trademark humor is well represented, but rather than detract from the work done on the research, it makes it more readable and enjoyable.

Strongly suggested for anyone currently working their way through the dating scene with little success, or looking to build more meaningful relationships than things like Tinder typically produce.

Feb 20, 2018

totally entertaining as well as informative. Aziz is hilarious, too.

BostonPL_JordanD Dec 16, 2017

This was a fascinating read about the history and current practices of dating and relationships. I admit, it did start to get depressing about the middle of the book, thinking, ugh, nothing will work, everyone will cheat. But I really appreciated the Conclusion, where Aziz carefully pulls out all the positive aspects, and what we should be doing to snag that special someone. Because, between meeting people at a bar, online dating, and other ways, there are just too many options, and we really do need to pick the best of each option. Aziz carefully explains it at the end in a great way. Plus, I loved his sense of humor, which helped the medicine go down*... lol.

*No, not real medicine. This was a great read! Actually, I think most of the world needs to read this from teens to adults!

Dec 08, 2017

Love Aziz! This book finally convinced me to try dating apps. If you haven't watched his show Master of None, check it out!

Oct 24, 2017

Author & narrator Aziz Ansari digs a little deeper to figure out what drives relationship behaviors. From committed, monogamous couples to playful, roving singles, he covers about every type of person/couple & the issues they face when pursing a love interest. He begins by portraying the typical dating fashion & needs of the men & women of the 1940s & 50s. Moving forward to present day, a completely different picture is painted on what men & women need & want in a relationship. Even the methods of how we pursue our search for a potential mate is COMPLETELY differnt. Ansari explores the many tools of technology society uses to assist in their quest for love & their pros/cons in the eventually relationship. He explores the difference in relationships in different cultures by visiting 3 different countries outside of the US: Japan, Brazil, & France.

I may have set myself up to give this book a lower rating than what I might have rated it had I had an idea of what this book was really about. I chose this book solely for the author, Aziz Ansari, thinking it was more about him than about the topic of love in different cultures & in the past & present. Had I read the brief narrative regarding what the book was about, I may not have chosen to pick this one up. However, enough of Ansari's personality came out in the writing & in his narration that I can say I'm glad I gave the rest of the book a chance past Chapter 1. It was pretty fascinating to dissect the effects of modern technology as it is being used in finding a potential girlfriend/boyfriend. I also found the comparisons between typical relationships in the different countries quite interesting. I would recommend reading this book if you enjoy Aziz's type of personality & comedy or if you find the topic of love & relationships of interest.

Age recommendation: 18 & up (references to masterbation, infidelity, open relationships, homo/hetero-sexual intercourse, lots of profanity used very casually)

On a scale of 1-10 stars, I give it 6.

Jul 27, 2017

An entertaining audiobook with supplemental anecdotes that brings the content to life. Ansari doesn't tell us what's wrong with modern romance, or why one way or time of doing things is superior to another. Instead, he examines how the times have changed and how difficult it is to determine the best course of action. While this book doesn't tell you how to navigate your love life, it does provide information that might have you reevaluate how you go about romance. The audiobook was about 6 hours long, but it went by fast and I enjoyed every moment of it.

May 31, 2017

I wouldn't say this was an amazing book in regards to content, but in regards to audiobooks I thought it was one of the best. Aziz's commentary throughout the book was both funny and relatable. I liked how he acknowledged that he was reading the book, I think that made it less cut and dry compared to others books. The content seemed like common sense, but I found the topics on monogamy pretty interesting. It's a book worth checking out.

ArapahoeMaryA Feb 10, 2017

Comedian Aziz Ansari teams up with sociologist Eric Klinenberg to explore today’s complex dating scene. Their observations are both interesting and amusing.

View All Comments

Age Suitability

Add Age Suitability
BostonPL_JordanD Dec 16, 2017

BostonPL_JordanD thinks this title is suitable for 15 years and over

Oct 24, 2017

jandt_mcmurray thinks this title is suitable for 18 years and over

Feb 19, 2017

LJones87 thinks this title is suitable for 18 years and over

LoganLib_Bailey May 20, 2016

LoganLib_Bailey thinks this title is suitable for 16 years and over


Add a Quote
ArapahoeMaryA Feb 10, 2017

But we want more than love. We want a lifelong wingman/wingwoman who completes us and can handle the truth, to mix metaphors from three different Tom Cruise movies.

Today, if you own a smartphone, you’re carrying a 24-7 singles bar in your pocket.

britprincess1ajax Apr 12, 2016

"Like most fedora wearers, he had a lot of inexplicable confidence."

britprincess1ajax Apr 12, 2016

"I don't think we thought, 'Well, there are another twelve doors or another seventeen doors or another four hundred and thirty-three doors' . . . We saw a door we wanted, and so we took it."

Aug 03, 2015

The most popular kind of establishment in the relationship replacement industry is the hostess club, which is basically the latest variation of a long-standing Japanese tradition where men go to a nice bar-type atmosphere and pay women to provide intimate personal service in a romantic but not explicitly sexual way. The women are like modern-day geishas: They light the men's cigarettes, serve them drinks, and listen attentively to their conversation, doing more or less what an ideal Japanese wife or girlfriend would do. Lots of men stop by these clubs after work, either alone or in groups... Women also go to host clubs, which provide the same service: outgoing men who converse and have drinks with them. Again, this does not lead to sex; it's purely for companionship. These women are basically paying to hang out with nonherbivore men for a while.



Add Notices
Oct 24, 2017

Sexual Content: references to masterbation, infidelity, open relationships, homo/hetero-sexual intercourse

Oct 24, 2017

Coarse Language: lots of profanity used very casually


Add a Summary

There are no summaries for this title yet.

Explore Further

Browse by Call Number


Subject Headings


Find it at Library

To Top